What breed of dog is that? As a dog owner, this is the top question I get when I go anywhere with my dogs. My answer is always more long-winded than anyone asking was looking for: “Well the shelter labeled him a Mastiff mix, I guessed he might be a Boxer mix, Then I got his DNA and he was neither of those but instead a mix of 7 different breeds (proceeds to list the breeds) and then I conclude with “but really he is not a member of any breed at all”. At this point, I hope the inquiring party is not entirely lost.
However, I hope you will stick around and hear me out.
Most dogs in shelters are not purebreds. In fact, one study suggests that most non-purebred dogs are a mix of at least four breeds. When a dog leaves a purebred gene pool, it no longer belongs to any specific breed.
A non-purebred dog is not a boxer/lab mix or a corgi/dachshund mix; it's not a member of any breed at all.
When we assign breed labels to dogs in shelters, we are often incorrect (and frequently disagree with each other). We also create opportunities for your adopters, volunteers, and staff to make assumptions about a dog’s behavior based on the stereotypes associated with that label.
It can be challenging not to classify a dog by breed since humans prefer to categorize things neatly. So let’s explore some labels that make more sense—ones that better reflect a dog’s personality rather than an arbitrary label.
Snoozerdoodle
Also referred to as a Snugglepug. this breed has turned napping into an Olympic sport. This pooch is the undisputed king of relaxation, a canine expert in the art of dozing off. Whether it’s a sunny patch on the floor or a soft spot on the couch, They will find it and transform into a furry puddle of bliss. Their favorite hobbies include pretending to chase squirrels in their sleep and snoring like a tiny chainsaw.
Chesapeake
Chewcheeks
This breed’s most recognizable feature? Those adorably oversized cheeks, perfect for stashing half a dozen chew toys at once, just in case one isn’t enough. Every toy stands a chance to be thoroughly inspected, nibbled on, and eventually shredded to confetti, leaving your living room looking like a colorful snowstorm hit.
Don’t be fooled by their innocent, floppy-eared looks. Chewcheeks have a sixth sense for sniffing out the most expensive and least replaceable items in the house. From squeaky toys to shoes to that one special pillow, nothing is safe from their relentless jaws. The best part? They’ll gnaw away while giving you those big, soulful eyes, as if to say, “I’m doing you a favor, really.”
With a Chesapeake Chewcheeks in your life, you’re guaranteed constant entertainment, a floor full of toy debris, and plenty of stories to tell at the dog park.
Dog-tor Farticus
a breed renowned for one legendary trait: the ability to clear a room in seconds without making a sound. While other dogs might bark to get attention, Dog-to Farticus uses its silent but deadly superpower to make its presence known. You’ll never hear it coming—only the suspicious side-eye from other dogs as they shuffle away.
Known for its impressive ability to turn a cozy evening on the couch into an evacuation drill, this breed keeps owners on their toes with its unpredictable yet potent emissions. They say every Dog-to Farticus can be identified by its innocent expression, even in the moments right after the stench hits, as if to say, “Who, me?”
Blue Biscuitjacker
The world’s most notorious snack thief in canine form! With the speed of a ninja and the precision of a jewel thief, this dog has one mission in life: to swipe every treat, cookie, and biscuit that dares to cross their path—or even just sit on the counter unattended.
These treat-stealing masterminds silently case the kitchen, waiting for that perfect moment when your back is turned, or you blink a second too long. Gone are the biscuits you just set out for cooling, vanished into the jaws of this snack-savvy bandit!
If you’re ready to live with a dog that treats every mealtime like a daring heist and every snack break as an opportunity for a quick getaway, then the Blue Biscuitjacker is your perfect partner in crime. Just keep your counters clear—or don’t, because honestly, the chase is half the fun!
German Shorthaired Procrastinator
A dog that was going to fetch the ball, but then decides it’s the perfect time to sit and stare into the middle distance, contemplating life’s great mysteries, like “why chase when you can nap?”
Whether it’s going on a walk or retrieving a stick, the GSP is always “about to” get started… any minute now. Their signature move is stretching luxuriously while watching other dogs run circles around Them, tail wagging lazily, thinking, “Eh, it can wait.” If they had opposable thumbs, they’d definitely have a “To-Do” list pinned to the fridge, mostly unchecked.
The only thing this breed can’t seem to delay is dinner. Priorities, you know.
Longhaired
Butt-Wiggleton
the dog breed that puts the wag in swagger! Known for their signature rear-end shuffle, these pups can’t simply walk—they have to wiggle, wobble, and shimmy their way through life. With fur that flows like a majestic waterfall over their well-toned behinds, the Longhaired-Butt-Wiggleton is all about making an entrance… rear first, of course.
This breed is a natural crowd-pleaser, leaving everyone in stitches as their back half seems to have a mind of its own. Whether they’re chasing squirrels (or more likely, the tail end of their own wiggle), they are a source of endless entertainment. When they’re not moonwalking backwards or booty-scooting across the living room, you’ll find them striking their signature pose: half-sit, half-wag, all attitude.
If you’re looking for a dog that won’t just wag their tail but will dance through life like a four-legged twerk machine, the Longhaired-Butt-Wiggleton is your dream companion. Just make sure you have plenty of room for all the wiggling—you don’t choose the Wiggleton life, the Wiggleton life chooses you!
Voguehound
also known as the Gucci Poochi—a dog breed that practically lives for the runway, or at least the nearest Instagram feed. These pups are born with a natural flair for the dramatic, striking a pose at any given moment. Whether lounging on a designer pillow or prancing around the living room like it’s Milan Fashion Week, the Voguehound is always camera-ready.
You won’t catch them rolling in mud, oh no! Voguehounds prefer pristine conditions, ideally with soft lighting and a hint of luxury in the background.
Need to snap a quick pic? No problem! The Gucci Poochi will give you angles, attitude, and maybe even a signature pout. Just be ready for the side-eye if you don’t meet their high standards.
Zoominator
a dog with enough energy to power a small city. This breed doesn’t walk or trot—it zooms. The Zoominator lives life in fast-forward mode, with only two speeds: “hyper” and “warp.”
Forget leisurely strolls—they’ll circle your yard in a blur, leaving you wondering if you’ve accidentally adopted the dog version of The Flash. You’ll spend most of your day trying to keep up with them, but spoiler alert: you won’t. They’re like a tornado of fur and joy, unstoppable and always moving.
And just when you think they might slow down, they’ll look at you with those wild eyes, ready for round two… or ten. The Zoominator: too much energy, not enough time, and definitely no chill.
Emo Whineapoo
the most melodramatic breed in the dog world. This pooch has everything a dog could ever want—premium kibble, designer toys, and a cozy bed—but that doesn’t stop them from delivering an endless symphony of sighs, whines, and dramatic side-eyes.
Known for their signature floppy fringe and tendency to sulk in the corner, these pups will let you know, in no uncertain terms, that life is a constant struggle.” But don’t be fooled—the Emo Whineapoo is just looking for attention. And boy, do they get it.
Prepare to be guilt-tripped into submission by their heart-wrenching puppy eyes, which perfectly complement their whiny personality. They’re like a fuzzy, four-legged emo band frontman, but much cuter.
Sniffopotamus
the canine world’s most dedicated detective! These dogs have one mission in life: to thoroughly investigate every single patch of ground as if it’s the key to unraveling the universe’s greatest mysteries. If you’ve ever wondered what could possibly be so fascinating about one square inch of dirt, the Sniffopotamus will show you—with a level of focus and determination that could put the FBI to shame.
Once they lock their sniffer onto a spot, they’ll engage in what’s known as the “sniff trance,” an intense session of nose-to-ground immersion that can last anywhere from 10 minutes to… well, infinity. Walks with a Sniffopotamus are more like extended stops—you’ll barely make it down the driveway before they discover something that demands hours of nose-investigation.
Known for their monumental nasal stamina, the Sniffopotamus will occasionally pause for dramatic effect, glance at you as if to say, “Do you even know how important this smell is?” before diving back in. If you’re looking for a dog with an impressive sense of smell and an even more impressive ability to turn every outing into a marathon sniff-a-thon, then the Sniffopotamus is the perfect match. Just don’t expect to ever reach your destination!
Uber Goober
The ultimate car-loving canine who’s always ready for a road trip—whether it’s across town or just around the block. This breed’s natural habitat is the backseat, head out the window, tongue flapping in the wind. No destination? No problem. The Uber Goober’s motto is, “Why walk when you can ride?”
Known for their boundless enthusiasm as soon as the car door opens, Uber Goobers will happily jump into any vehicle. They’re not picky—they’ve been known to hop into cars with strangers, Uber drivers, and even riding mowers, all in the name of a joyride.
Once inside, they’ll either stare longingly out the window or awkwardly climb onto your lap while you’re driving, as if offering some moral support. Expect constant tail-wagging, occasional drool on the dashboard, and the ever-present look of “Are we there yet?” that turns into pure bliss at every stoplight.
American Lickotron
The dog breed that believes the world is best experienced through taste! Whether it’s your face, the couch, the mailman, or that random patch of dirt, the Lickotron’s philosophy is simple: If it exists, it must be licked.
These dogs are like four-legged vacuum cleaners, but instead of sucking up dirt, they spread slobber far and wide. In fact, some scientists (okay, dog owners) believe the Lickotron was bred specifically to test the moisture limits of household furniture. No object is too big, no surface too small—their tongue knows no boundaries.
Your leg? Licked. Your shoes? Soaked. That suspicious spot on the floor that you didn’t even know existed? Now it’s practically a water feature thanks to the American Lickotron’s relentless tongue action.
If you think “too much licking” is an imaginary concept, the American Lickotron is your dream dog. Just be prepared to feel slightly damp at all times, because when it comes to licking, they are true professionals—committed, enthusiastic, and endlessly hilarious!
Help your community see dogs as individuals and help them find homes more quickly.
Learn more—Breed Label Toolkit.
